Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
