So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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