you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he quoted the bible to break up with me
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
not ubering you a puppy
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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