It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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