I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
