my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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