Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
