he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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