Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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