He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
