Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize