I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
