Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
