is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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