Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
