come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
