i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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