You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize