Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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