Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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