so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
