U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Randomize
