i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
