If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
