Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm both gender and math confused
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
