I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
