I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
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She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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