nut hugger
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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