cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize