Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
