i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
