It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
My bed smells like the plague
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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