i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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