I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
