how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
