the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Drake has all the answers
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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