I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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