you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
