Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
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You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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