Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
