Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
