i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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