I cockslap morals
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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