whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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