Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
