Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is Oprah even human
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize