I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
