I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
