The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
