Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
All I want is dick and wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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