i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize