Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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