Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize