Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
