He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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