Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize