Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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