It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
