Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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