R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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