i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
